Don’t ask ‘How much do you make?’ on a date—ask these 7 questions instead

Dating involves numerous financial moments, from selecting a restaurant to discussing travel plans and splitting bills. These interactions can offer insight into someone’s money mindset and their potential as a financial partner without directly asking about their income, net worth, or debt.

Conversations about money with a potential partner go beyond just finances; they reveal values, habits, and expectations regarding teamwork. Here are some questions to ask on a date that can help you understand your partner’s financial perspective more organically:

1. “Where did you grow up and what was it like?” This question can provide insights into their family background and the lifestyle they consider normal.
2. “Tell me about your family. What were they like when you were a kid?” Exploring family dynamics can reveal what shapes their financial decisions.
3. “What was your first job?” Understanding their early work experiences can shed light on their relationship with money.
4. “Are you more of a planner or a wing-it person?” This question can reveal how they handle uncertainty, a key aspect of financial decision-making.
5. “What’s something you’ll happily spend on and something you refuse to overpay for?” This can show their values and priorities when it comes to spending.
6. “What’s your ideal vacation?” Vacation preferences can reflect their expectations around money and planning.
7. “When you get stressed, what do you like to do?” This question can provide insights into their coping mechanisms, which can influence their financial behaviors.

As the relationship progresses and money becomes a more tangible factor in joint decisions, it’s essential to have direct conversations about finances. By starting with questions that uncover their values and mindset early on, you can avoid surprises and build a strong foundation for a lasting relationship.

This article was authored by Douglas A. Boneparth, the president and founder of Bone Fide Wealth, a wealth management firm in New York City. Boneparth specializes in serving millennials, young professionals, and entrepreneurs. He is a member of CNBC’s Financial Advisor Council and co-authored the book “Money Together: How to Find Fairness in Your Relationship and Become an Unstoppable Financial Team.”

For more resources on improving communication, confidence, and success at work, consider taking CNBC’s online course “Master Your Body Language To Boost Your Influence” with an exclusive discount using the code EARLYBIRD. Terms apply.